So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
