just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
