There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
