dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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