Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
