we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
