She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
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