"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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