My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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