I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize