just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
