You're so nebulous sometimes
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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