I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
