Whod you bang
i can't believe i had my finger in that
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
