a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
