I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
