I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Randomize
