I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
