Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize