She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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