I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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