Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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