just tell him i said nine months
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
