I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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