Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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