Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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