party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
