Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Randomize
