i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a bar mat shot.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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