it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
She needs sedatives and a leash
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
