he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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