so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
