so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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