I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
It's shark week go big or go home
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
