drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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