How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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