idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
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What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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