I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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