Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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