He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
