do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
