she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
