we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
My vagina just recognized that song.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
