Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
