Say something about gay babies.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
