I have demons in me.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
