well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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