Hey man sorry I got all grabby
My balls are so social today.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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