my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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