Your tits are I can't wait for
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I have a pirate flag
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize