I just pynch a tree in the face
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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