You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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