Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Randomize
