Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
