Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
You have to summon your inner elephant
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
