I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
