Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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