Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
