Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
